Couples therapy

Couples therapy gives you a space with a professional to discuss what is happening in your relationship. You might come because of recurring arguments, distance, difficult decisions or lost trust. The work concerns how you treat each other and what each person wants, with help organizing conversations that become stuck at home.

Attending does not guarantee you will stay together or that your partner will change as you hope. It may reveal incompatible wishes. Where there is abuse or fear of retaliation, a joint session is not an appropriate way to try to resolve it; safe, specialist support is needed.

Early meetings explore why you came, the relationship's history and each person's expectations. You agree on what to work on and how to review it. There may be exercises or conversations to try between sessions; the format depends on the practitioner and your circumstances.

Hearing how your partner experiences the relationship can hurt even without an accusation. Speaking calmly in the room also means little if the same treatment continues outside it. The therapist cannot carry out the changes you agree to make.

Look for an appropriately qualified mental health professional with specific couples training, and check their credentials. Ask about fees, frequency, confidentiality and how they handle individual conversations, if these are part of the work.

Two schedules and the cost can make attendance difficult. One person may also attend only to prove the other is the problem. If you cannot speak freely because you fear what will happen afterward, seek separate support and explain that risk.